So much of the discussion about grief surrounds the ideas of closure, acceptance and of moving on. However, this is only part of the story. A great many grievers feel pressure, guilt and self-consciousness surrounding the memory of their loved one. How can they continue their bond, and honour their relationship with the person who they have lost?
One simple yet profound technique that some people use to strengthen such a connection is to write a letter. Once or twice a year, perhaps on the anniversary of their death and their birthday you can sit down and write a letter out to the person who is no longer with you in presence. Almost like a journal, or a postcard, you can fill them in on the latest going’s on, share your ups and downs and more. What you do with that letter is your choice, but it can be a helpful way to both honour your connection and mentally ‘unload’ your feelings.
Another way that you can do this is to vocally express your thoughts and feelings. Standing by their graveside and sharing your thoughts, sitting in a park that they liked, or simply uttering the words “I miss you” can help in those bluest of moments.
As our loved one’s teach us lessons during their life, so they do in the days, weeks, months and years after their deaths. Remembering their character, spirit and values and living in a way that they would be proud is the ultimate way to continue their legacy. This could be something as simple as taking up a hobby they enjoyed like gardening, trying a dish or drink that they favoured, or even going on a ‘road trip’ to a far-off land that they always wanted to visit.
Finally, while some people may prefer a fresh-start to their lives after losing someone close, you may find that it is more beneficial to continually remind yourself of that special someone. Having photographs around the house, a special hat hung on the coat hook or wearing an item of their jewelry are all ways you can maintain a daily reminder.
If you have been recently bereaved and would like help planning a loved one’s funeral, please contact Cravens Funerals. Our compassionate and professional team have years of experience creating funerals that are completely unique to the individual and respectful of the circumstances of their passing. For help and advice please contact us on 0151 228 3900 or leave us a message through our contact us page by clicking here.